First of all I am a web researcher who works for Google Answers as an independent contractor. I discovered Google Answers when I was looking for information to help a friend in starting up a business. I was actually hoping to land a job in that venture since times were tough for me and being a handicap, opportunities were very minimal. But then Google Answers came into the picture and for the first time I was able to pay my debts, get my daughter to school and was now also supporting myself financially.
I was happy and relieved for a while but real joy eluded me. In no time I was back to my self-pitying and loneliness came over me once again. I was able to go to the US that time and when I came back something funny happened in the house. My relatives and my eldest brother were doing weekly Bible Studies! “What are these guys up to?” I said to myself.
As you can see I wasn’t at all thrilled since I felt I’ve known just about anything there is to know about God because of my education and I happen to be a Google Answer Researcher. Information was at my fingertips!
After attending for about a month without any intention of changing anything about my life, I headed for one of my loneliest Christmas. My parents were not with me and my daughter took a vacation with her mom. I was alone and felt depressed.
It was then that I realized and something snapped within me! It seems that the past few weeks God was trying to show me something. I realized how blessed I am with my new work and still being able to have my daughter in a few days time! I also began to think that I started my adult life with mistake after mistake in different levels of my life both financially, personally and most of all spiritually.
I was mistaken in that I thought I knew God just like web pages. That every wish I had should be granted to me when I click the “Submit” button. If it doesn’t its either God was offline or just wanted to disappoint me. If you saw the Jim Carrey movie, there were times that I was like that! It was actually at that time I was the one messing up my life and He was doing the cleaning and polishing. Things I went through that I felt was a total waste of time actually had a greater part in the grander scheme of things.
The biggest thing I realized though that afternoon was that all these things were nothing compared to what He did for me before that. In fact if these were the only things, even my mom and dad can do that right? It was then that I came to my senses and understood what Jesus’ nailing on the cross really meant. That it was because He loved me! It wasn’t the job, nor the knowledge or being with my daughter that was the ultimate evidence, although these things really showed His affection. It was what He gone through 2,000 years ago. He did that to make me clean again, to right all the wrongs I did and was doing and will do with my life. That they may totally be erased, make me whiter than snow and be right with His’ Father again.
Jesus clicked the “Submit” button of all time through the cross and it cleaned the interface of my soul.